I have found that the biggest hindrance to my life is fear, and usually that fear is unfounded. Tonight, I was spending some time in worship. The kids are in bed, I should be in bed, but I needed some time. This whole idea of living unafraid because your trust in is your King is definitely easier said than done. I am pretty sure I've been saying the same thing for years, but never had the guts to actually follow through. It was easier to speak it than to live it.
This morning I realized that I needed to accept being very patient and open with my expectations. As a creative person, I often find myself telling God how He can meet my needs. Honestly, I have some great ideas! This morning, however, I realized that I needed to shift my imagination into prayer and meditation. Instead of telling Him how He can meet me, I need to be quiet and pay attention. I'm talking too much! How can I possibly see the ways He meets me if I am too busy telling Him how it "should" be!?! Thing is, you can't...well, I can't. I can't see those ways He meets me when I am blathering on about these things. So, I am learning to be quiet and to be patient. Not easy. But, worth it.
Another thing that hit me tonight is that if I am going to live this life being holy unafraid, I need to trust that He is not going to put me in a position that will make me fail. He may ask me to do things that make me uncomfortable (public speaking) or even cause me to feel some fear (public speaking), but if He is going to ask this of me, isn't for His glory? Our failure only comes when we do not rise to His challenge! He does not desire for us to look foolish. We are His children and He desires only the best for us.
2 Timothy 1:7 (NLV) says, "For God did not give us a spirit of fear. He gave us a spirit of power, and of love, and of a good [sound] mind." Fear is not good and it is not sound. Fear is not love. And fear is not true power. My job over the next few months is to continue to push aside the fear that rises up in me and replace it with His promises. It is harder than it seems. Sometimes I really want to hold on to fear because it is familiar and strangely comforting. It gives me a false sense of protection. But, fear is a lie. And in order to live a life unafraid, I must do the work to let go of that "security". It will be neat to see how God fills that space where fear has resided for so long.
In Hebrew, this means "our dance". It is through our dance that healing in found. Come before the throne and dance for your King!